The start of the school year is always bittersweet. Jackson and Stafford seem to love school, which definitely makes things easier for me. But it also reminds me of where we are.

Like a birthday, it highlights the gap between where they are and where we thought they would be at 8 years old.

It doesn’t get easier not to hear from them about how their day was. To wonder what their favorite part was and whether they made friends in class. My heart aches for these simple, everyday conversations.

I’m so incredibly grateful for the love and support they receive at their school. But having a child who is minimally verbal is hard. Really hard.

I’m still believing for the day they talk my ear off. The day they catch me up on all the things they have wanted to tell me over the years. I know God can redeem the time that feels lost in some ways. I’m not sure what that will look like, but I know He can.

There are days when I truly grieve where we are. I can’t help but see other kids their age and feel disappointed. There was a dream of being a soccer mom. Taking them to games on the weekends. Cheering them on from the sidelines. My dream day might look like someone else’s ordinary day.

And it’s okay to grieve that.

I’ve wrestled with God over this many times. I’ve had to ask Him again and again to reframe my perspective. Help me see my circumstances the way He does.

His ways are not our ways. His plans are always multifaceted. He has a plan, and His timing is perfect…even when I don’t understand it.

“For my thoughts are not your thoughts,
    neither are your ways my ways,”
declares the Lord.
 “As the heavens are higher than the earth,
    so are my ways higher than your ways
    and my thoughts than your thoughts.”

– Isaiah 55:8-9

Until then, we will celebrate every victory, big and small. And they ARE making progress.

Jackson is starting to use words in context, and Stafford has even started leading us in a short prayer before bed.

I remember praying for just one word! So we celebrate!

We may still have a long way to go, but I’m trusting that God has us.

He is Jehovah Rapha- the God who heals.
He is Jehovah Jireh- the God who provides.

That is who He is.

How you can pray for us:

Continue to pray for healing. We are continuing to navigate mitochondrial dysfunction and detoxification challenges.

Pray for wisdom as we parent and raise all three of our children. We believe God has placed a high calling on their lives, and we want to steward that well.

We are also dealing with mold issues in our home and working through remediation. This is a costly and overwhelming process, so we would deeply appreciate prayer for provision, wisdom, and a healthy home.

Thank you for loving our family, praying for our boys, and walking alongside us. We look forward to sharing with you all the miracles ahead!

Because I believe there are still so many to come.